6 posts tagged “spring”
Hey, it's been a while! I defended my thesis last week, and as soon as that happened I became very lazy and very happy, and very lazy.
Seriously. It's the last week of class, but I can't do any work. I have a bunch of finals stuff but I just can't get anything done. Instead, though, I've been being human again: I've cooked dinner with M. nearly every night in the past week, watched a bunch of fun things (including "Waking Life" D+ [directionless; bad writing; cool look], "Juno" which gets an A- [very cute; George Michael and Michael Bluth in one movie!; somewhat predictable; awesome soundtrack], "Lars and the Real Girl" which gets a surprising B+, and "Slings and Arrows," which is too good to grade). I've sent letters to my grandparents, I've taken a walk almost every day, I've slept late, I've gotten to email friends, we've had time to discuss (briefly) wedding planning; I've even had time to be BORED. What the heck? It's like... normal life is back?! The real me is back too, as the people around me will be glad to know - no more weird crying fits or monosyllabic responses or failures to do any chores ever. Certain persons who cooked and cleaned everything for me for two months (and to whom I am very, very grateful) will be particularly relieved, I suspect.
Just to celebrate spring and May 1st (though it's not related to workers in any way):
I'm glad to report that other parts of my life seem to be ok too: my school hasn't completely fallen apart, though it will be going through some growing pains. I'll know more about this over the summer, I think, if the committee ever starts meeting. We don't have to move this summer - excellent! I don't think I'll have a garden but hope to join a CSA or find a decent farmer's market. We've been talking a lot about what we eat and how we live and whether it can be (affordably) more environmentally sound - strategizing about "carbon footprint"s and organic vegetables and about how bad the beef industry is. I'm not trying to turn anyone vegetarian but sometimes you really have to stop and think...
My sisters seem to be doing well; my baby niece is now six weeks old and has already outgrown a piece of clothing. She has tiny eyebrows, apparently. Amazing! I hope to meet her in a few weeks. My parents are thinking about taking a trip with my great aunt, which could be a combination of wearing and hilarious, but she's an accomplished traveler and I think they'd probably end up having a good time. I'm pushing for Italy in September but it's all up in the air. They deserve it, though, they're working really hard. So is my sister R.; I hope she finds another job soon, one where they can afford to treat her properly (I'm worried she's getting burned out). She'll get a little vacation this summer, which is nice.
I hope this finds you well, and somewhere with cherry blossoms or daffodils or tulips.
Today was full of nice moments; standing in the garden after church feeling like we're getting to meet people there a little... walking through the sunny city with ice cream, seeing how many people were smiling... meeting new neighbors over the backyard fence, and then hearing their impromptu jazz concert, including one of my dad's favorites, "Why not take all of me?" Take all of me, indeed. Today, Philadelphia, I'm proud to show off your good sides and to share what I love about you.
I've been offline and will continue to be, mostly, until after the beginning of May, when finals work and other things calm down a bit. I just want to say that 70 degree weather is as wonderful as I remembered. It feels like it's been years! But I think work is under control; some light is making its way into the tunnel after all.
Last night I had a really nice break; I went out with A.K. and company, ran into both an acquaintance from college, and one from high school (the former at a happy hour, the latter at a sinkhole... don't ask), and narrowly missed seeing a third piece of the puzzle of my past, my friend P.B. from Baltimore, who I met at Governor's School during the summer of (gasp!) 1995, who was just in town for the day. Anyway, we walked around and looked at art galleries and talked about how adults sometimes misremember our actions, how people can be too judgmental, and how NLP is a plague. Then we went to see some old films made by Bell Telephone, featuring happy operators and switchboards, which I actually find to be quite romantic and interesting. There was also a nice short about Vonnegut, his life and work, and mostly had him singing in the background, which was really touching.
I'm at school, doing work, so back to that. I miss all of you though, and can't wait until it's summer, when it won't be a a novelty for flowers to be blooming, and there won't be homework, and perhaps I will get to study French...
P.S. I google-imaged "spring" and here's the first thing that came up, on a website with the same title as this post:
This is the lull in my week, the day I don't have classes, the time when I should be studying as hard as possible but when I realize that I haven't written to anyone in a few days and that there are roofers who need to be called and emails that need to be sent and lives I need to catch up on. I guess this is one of the drawbacks of attending school outside of the city while the neighborhood I have the most ties to is in the city; it's sort of living a split life. But now I have a second home, closer to school, and my life is starting to feel more integrated, and I certainly feel more whole than I have for many years. Also, I suspect the split life phenomenon comes more from attending school in general; it tends to pervade a large part of my brain much of the time, whether it's ideas about mindfulness or trying to remember what a standard deviation is. I'm getting better at switching, though, from one sort of thinking to another. I think I was probably able to avoid talking about school for at least five minutes when I had dinner with my friend A.K. the other night, for example.
Yesterday I was telling some of my classmates about what a difficult child I had been; I had a bad temper (I used to bite my sisters when I got mad), I wouldn't let anyone move anything in my room, and had to have everything just so, I was bossy and a perfectionist... Aside from laughing at me (apparently they think I have become slightly more laid back) one of them asked, "How did you overcome that?" It's not something I'd ever thought about. Are personalities shaped by experience, by contact with other people (did the hours I spent with O. and other friends in middle school change me? or was it seeing that I didn't have to control everything in my environment? or was it the shift from bossiness to being a maternal older sister that marked a change?), or just by time? How much of who I was in college is who I am now? (Actually, this is a funny question that I sort of discussed when I visited C.M. in Columbus in August; I think I'm more like my college self than I have been for years).
There aren't huge updates to give you; school is moving along; my brain is constantly struggling to keep up. We're still interviewing for two temporary faculty positions, and I'm not sure how many more candidates I'll interview by the end of the term; there've been at least two good prospects. My sisters are doing well and being busy; my parents are adjusting from their Thailand trip by starting lambing season; so far there has been one set of triplets born. It's been a long time since I was at the farm, and I'm hoping to go back in May to see all the pronking action (plus, I don't think M. has seen enough embarrassing photos of me as a child). Spring is when I miss the farm most, because even when I was a self-absorbed high school student, I could track the progress of the plants every day and knew all the smells of the ground as the months got warmer....
My last word is this: I can't wait for summer, when I won't have homework -- I have fantasies of studying French and getting some work done on my thesis and taking weekend trips and going hiking and seeing friends and waking up in the sun with all the windows open, all under a faint haze of honeysuckle and sweat.
I'll just post very quickly to let you know that M. and I had a wonderful trip to Boston; the wedding was happy and festive, I got to meet many of M.'s friends, I tried ringing a church bell, walked all over the city, and even visited Copley Square, the only place in Boston that I can remember having been to before. We also visited my grandparents, which was great, so comforting and nice. I like the slight confusion and also sort of relief that comes from bringing people from different parts of my life together. The trip set the tone for a relaxing few days back at home, and yesterday it was so beautiful (75 and sunny) that we had a picnic and slept in the sun all afternoon. That is worth any amount of money, and I'll remember it later when I'm locked in the lab working long hours. With any luck, I'll remember it forever.
The end of spring break is drawing near; my friend C. and my sister A. are going to be visiting soon, which I'm very excited about. There are many other things going on, and I've been out of the loop and out of touch, I'm sorry about that. As my mother says, I'd like to mobilize positive thoughts. 2007 is still the year of love; it will take patience and a lot of hope.
